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Black History Month: Generations (1989 - 1991)

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When soap operas were a hot commodity in the 1970s and 80s, many high-profile issues came to the forefront of their storytelling. One of the most compelling stories on One Life to Live involved an African American woman who attempted to pass herself off as white as a way to enter into the higher classes. The casting of black actress Ellen Holly in a central role in daytime was marked as a first, and it prompted two other ABC soaps, General Hospital, and later All My Children to feature black actors in prominent roles. (Note: Holly’s story is not one of triumph though, and you can read about her allegations against the show regarding the mistreatment of her and her character here)

They might not always get direct credit, but soaps have often tackled weighty issues while they pursue love in the afternoon. However, they were still a bit behind when it came to building an entire series around a largely black cast. The NBC sudser Generations, which debuted on NBC on March 27th, 1999, may have been a short-lived attempt to bring more diversity to daytime, but they also left behind a nice legacy.


Former Young and the Restless writer Sally Sussman created Generations. Sussman was interested in a stronger depiction of blacks on daytime television and said in an interview, “[W]e're starting from scratch with a core family who happens to be black. That enables us to give them a credibility and importance, a history, that most blacks on daytime don't have.” However, Sussman hoped that her show not only gave black audiences proper representation, but that other audience members also related to stories. In an interview with Soap Opera Weekly, Sussman clarified, ''We're in the business of drama here, not social reformation. I'm not out to change the world. I want to entertain people and captivate them with our characters. What makes people tune in to a soap? Compelling characters, romance and good stories with strong emotional payoffs. Black or white, that's what the daytime audience wants to see - and that's what we're going to give them. In the end, it's all a crapshoot.''


Sussman's hopes for a successful series may come across as modest, but she had lofty ambitions for Generations, and brought in Dr. Troy Duster, a prominent sociologist working as a professor at the University of California at Berkeley, to consult. She also made sure the writers worked in an area separated from the actors. Sussman believed that the separation alleviated pressures and allowed the show to maintain some secrecy with their storylines.


And, Generations did tackle many pertinent issues of the late 80s. The story was centered on two families living in the Chicago suburbs, one black and one white. The matriarch of the black family had once worked as a housekeeper for the white family, but through a successful chain of ice cream stores owned by her family, both families now existed on the same economic level. The connections between the families ran deep, and issues arose from these circumstances. Consultant Duster remarked, “In the first generation, there is a maid in the big house… Second generation, the ice-cream parlor owner begins to achieve some kind of entrepreneurial successes. Therefore, the connection between whites and blacks transforms dramatically in two generations… One could even say there’s a metaphor here for race relations in the last three decades.”


The impetus behind Generations came about for a couple of different reasons. One was that, according to the New York Times, Nielsen ratings for soap viewing in black households were quite large. In 1988, black audiences were increasing while other audiences were declining. The incentive to cater to the African American audience was indeed a business decision. However, Sussman and crew strove to give their show a real sense of relevance and identity.

Generations caught the attention of the NAACP who embraced the series and pushed for its success. Benjamin L. Hooks, executive director of the NAACP said in an interview, “While it is agreed that African Americans have made some strides in breaking through what was an iron curtain that prevented them from exercising any real power in these industries, it is obvious that a great deal still needs to be done. We are, therefore, in total support in any and all efforts that will accomplish these goals.”


The series brought in a number of well-respected African American actors, including Richard Roundtree (Shaft), Joan Pringle (The White Shadow), Taurean Blacque (Hill Street Blues), Debbie Morgan (All My Children), Kristoff St. John (Young and the Restless) and a then-relatively unknown Vivica A. Fox (Kill Bill). Yet, despite such a high profile cast and a lot of publicity, Generations struggled to find an audience. Critics found the premise and desire to bring a black family to the forefront of daytime admirable, but they also felt many of the stories were the stuff of contrived storytelling, even by soap standards. About a year into its run, the Nielsen’s placed the show last among the 12 soaps that were currently airing. Bringing in 2.3 million viewers is not necessarily horrible numbers in today’s soap opera world, but in 1990 it was nothing compared to the nearly 8 million viewers that its direct competition, The Young and the Restless was pulling in (Y&R remains the top rated soap on television, with an average of 5 million viewers showing up every day). Black audiences made up approximately 20% of the audience, which was roughly equal to the percentages that the other soaps were attracting.


Hooks continued to push for black viewers to tune into Generations, urging the 1700 chapters of the NAACP to lobby for the troubled series. In November of 1990, the show hired Dorothy Lyman, most recognized on daytime TV as Opal on All My Children, to inject new life into the series. She signed a contract only to see Generations cancelled just a few weeks later. There was some protest put out by the NAACP and the show considered whether or not it would have a life in syndicated markets. Unfortunately, this never came to be, although the soap did enjoy a spell of re-runs on BET. Upon cancellation, Generations producer Jorn Winther sadly commented, “I don’t think I’m going to see an integrated show again.”


Flash forward some 20 years or so, where only four soaps remain on daytime network television. I only recently started watching The Young and the Restless, and noticed that the show entertained a diversity in ethnicities, although I don’t know the history well enough to speak to how integrated the characters are. Tyler Perry also has a primetime soap on OWN called The Have and Have Nots, which enjoys a multi-racial cast, and wonderful ratings. Generations may not have been able to achieve the kind of awesome legacies that other long running series have enjoyed, but, like the character Carla Gray on One Life to Live, Generations laid the groundwork for the integration and diversity that would inspire, aptly enough, an entire new generation.


Last Bride of Salem (1974)

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Network: ABC
Original Air Date: May 8th, 1974


This Toronto lensed shot on video thriller originally aired under the ABC Afternoon Playbreak moniker all the way back in 1974. The Playbreak series, which ran from October 31st, 1973 – February 13th, 1975, was a cycle of 90 minute stand alone episodes that would air once a month, preempting the daytime soap programming, and there were about 4 to 5 episodes per season. The afternoon movie format proved to be popular and many of the Playbreaks won Emmys, including The Last Bride of Salem which garnered an award for TV stalwart Bradford Dillman.


It’s a little sad and strange that Playbreak hasn’t been documented better, it wasn’t until I attempted to research this film that I discovered the series. Luckily, Bride has a bit of cult following and after watching it I can certainly see why. It’s eerie, claustrophobic and well paced. I should also add the score would make any giallo fan's mouth water. There are some decent Goblin-like grooves to be found lurking inside this story of modern witchery!

Bradford Dillman is Matt Clifton, an up and coming artist and doting family man who is offered a chance to stay at a worn-down but large and serene farmhouse so he can create… ahrt! Matt packs up his wife, Jennifer (Lois Nettleton) and daughter Kelly (Joni Bick) and they head out to the serene countryside; only things aren’t quite as tranquil as they had hoped. Jennifer is sure something nefarious is happening to her husband and child, but could it really be an aged old curse taking over their bodies, and preparing Jennifer to become a child bride to Satan? Yikes!

  
Bride harkens back to the exceptional SOV British series Thriller, which also featured stand alone horror tales. Like Bride, Thriller relied heavily on the less is more tactic of terror. Fairly traditional to the medium during this era, the SOV style really work as far as I’m concerned. Maybe it’s because I’ve been heavily influenced by the look and approach of soaps, but there’s something creepy and effective about straight faced video horror (at least from that period). It works here, because of that particular video polish and because of the strong acting, and just because it’s an eerie story played out just right. In fact, director Tom Donovan and writer Rita Lakin were no strangers to serial world – he directed such shows as Ryan’s Hope and General Hospital and she wrote for the nighttime shows Flamingo Road and Dynasty! Lakin also adapted Death Takes a Holiday into the made for television format and it still remains one of the most haunting and beautiful romance films of that medium. So often this format is considered subpar and certainly the use of video doesn’t help it earn any respect, and that’s a miserable fate for a subgenre so needlessly pushed aside.

And, here’s an oddball piece of trivia: You will spot John Candy as a background character. He appears in a couple of scenes, but the one I remember him in is the ritual scene. I jokingly said, “Hey, it’s John Candy,” and it was!

Love They Neighbor (2006)

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Network: Lifetime
Original Air Date: February 26, 2006

Nosy, annoying neighbors are par for the course in the world of television. Take Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched. Yeah, I know women didn’t work outside of the home much back then and probably went a little stir crazy, but she really needed to take a ceramics class or something. Then there’s bitchy Barb on The Mommies, always popping in when she’s least wanted (and yeah, I’m throwing a Mommies reference at you. So what of it?). And of course there’s Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons. OK, he was pretty cool, but wasn’t it funny when George would slam the door in his face? The point is that intrusive neighbors are a a staple of that little world coming through the tube. We seem to like those meddling folks, but wouldn’t we like them even more if they were completely whacked out of their head and possibly murderous? The answer is a resounding yes!


Thank the TV gods that Janis Rivers (Shannon Lawson) is crazy. I’m not giving anything away by saying that because from the very first second you see her you know she’s about two bricks short of a full load. The fun of Love Thy Neighbor isn’t in who did what or even necessarily how they did it, the fun is in watching the actress give new meaning to the words coocoo bananas!


After a traumatic break-in, Laura Benson (Alexandra Paul, one of my favorite Baywatch babes and a Lifetime movie regular) finds herself unable to cope. Her hotter-than-Georgia-asphalt hubby Jim (Gary Hudson from Ladykillers) moves the family to a gated community. Unfortunately, they have moved next door to Janis. If a Stepford Wife and The Stepfather had a love child, it would be Janis. She longs for perfection, but if she doesn’t get it… well, you get the point. The best part is, Janis hardly ever gets what she wants.


Janis runs the gamut of pranks on her neighbors. She does everything from leaving threatening letters (with words cut out and pasted on paper!), to making anonymous phone calls in an attempt to ruin the coach and Laura’s daughter to swinging her hips to keep the rent-a-cop plenty distracted. And she does it all with a smile on her face. Janis is only interested in maintaining a false sense of perfection, and she’ll take down anyone who wants to prove it otherwise.


There are brief glimpses of Janis’ inside world, like when she’s spying on the rent-a-cop while chowing down on some fried chicken. These were some of the most interesting aspects of film, humorously revealing the imperfections of Lifetime’s kookiest neighbor. Love Thy Neighbor is so much fun. It’s completely formulaic, all the way down to a Janis vs. Laura smackdown, but there’s so much life in the villain it’s hard to not enjoy watching her. However, it should be noted: this movie is not kind to animals. The Benson’s luck with pets is excruciatingly painful and how I still mourn the loss of poor Fred!

Love Thy Neighbor is on DVD

Love Thy Neighbor Trailer:
 

Ebony, Ivory and Jade (1979)

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Network: CBS
Original Air Date: August 3rd, 1979

When I think of the words Ebony and Ivory, I instantly think of that bit of pop music heaven that Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder pulled together in the early 80s. You know, the one about people living in harmony on keyboards or something like that. But once you throw in the word Jade, the whole image changes to represent Martha Smith from Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Debbie Allen from Fame and Bert Convy from my heart.

Ebony, John Travolta and Ivory
So, instead of awesome tunes, we get a fairly clumsy trio of private investigators who tend to get involved in espionage. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure they are really in the P.I. business at all, but that’s how some articles referred to the trio back when this ditty came out in 1979.

This is Ebony and Ivory's "Oh no you didn't face." They make it a lot.
It seemed to me that Convy was a tennis-bum-turned-talent-agent and part of some network of intelligence. But the whole affair is so unclear about everything, I just wasn’t sure (note that the newspaper promo below does call the group "superspies"). At any rate, Ebony, Ivory and Jade are protecting a brilliant scientist who has created a new type of explosive. The meet Dr. Adela Teba (Nina Foch) on a train and Ebony and Ivory use their questionable talents as singers to distract the other passengers while Convy does some investigative work. It kind of backfires, even though they are being watched heavily by two other “good guys” who are never really explained, but one of them is Ted Shackleford!

Ted Shackelford!
At any rate, the formula is stolen and this bad guy goes around sprinkling a pink-colored powder around. Since it is activated by heat, the villain puts it on light bulbs and sometimes just lets it warm in the sun while Jade and his ladies run for cover! The bad guy is played by Donald Moffet and he’s so mean that after he kidnaps the women he cleans and presses their clothes! OK, so he strips them first, but still… While he has quite a few henchmen, his best bad guy is actually his maid Mrs. Stone (Lucille Benson). Not only does she do a mean pressing job on slacks, but she also knows her way around a pistol! She actually follows our heroes to Vegas, disguised as a maid of course, and attempts make their hotel room explode.

YES!
At some point both Frankie Valli and David Brenner pop up to play themselves. They serve no purpose, but it was nice to see them. Claude Atkins also puts in a little face time in this prospective series pilot. It's such a strange little movie that goes from point A to point B without any clear aim, but the friendly TV faces are so damn charming I just didn't care. Of course, I'm soft on Convy, but truly, despite the plot problems, everyone is diggin' in to the material and having fun.

Original newspaper promo for Ebony, Ivory and Jade
Not be confused with Cirio H. Santiago's 1976 theatrical exploitation flick, this Ebony, Ivory and Jade is directed by my favorite small screen filmmaker, John Llewellyn Moxey. Staying true to form, he makes the whole thing feel a little more confident and slicker than it had any right to feel. I'm sure it would have made an interesting series, looking something like Charlie's Angels, minus an angel and with more music. Plus, handsome but goofy Convy could easily be a mix of Bosley and Charlie. If only I could go back in time and make it so!

USA World Premiere Movie Project: A Murder on Shadow Mountain (1999)

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This review has been written in conjunction with the Daily Grindhoue's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie. 

Based on the true crime novel of the same name (also known as Mountain Madness: A Deadly Night, A Bloody Secret, A True Story), A Murder on Shadow Mountain recounts the extraordinary story of a woman who is intent on proving her husband did not commit murder, even though the evidence she digs up continually indicates otherwise.


Denny and Barbara Traynor (Peter Coyote and Michelle Lee) have an idyllic blue-collar life, filled with happy children and secure jobs. All of that gets turned around after Denny is arrested and extradited to Oregon to stand trial for a murder he allegedly committed over two decades earlier! During his time in the holding cell, Barbara begins to uncover a lot of secrets about her husband, but stands by him, even when the “truth” dictates otherwise. Her love and devotion become an inspiration and even the man who had Denny arrested begins question the case, as Barbara seeks answers to the night of the murder.


The story is interesting, perhaps even more so because it’s based on a real life event, but this adaptation is just not captivating. The leads are... and I really hate to say this... lackluster, and it appears as though Michelle Lee's heart was just not in this film (Of course, I won't speak for her, because I'm sure she can kick my ass, but if you've seen the film you get my point). Coyote fares a bit better, but his weird mid-west accent comes in and out just like his bright moments.


Yet, Shadow Mountain has a surprisingly moving ending. Despite the drama that never really goes anywhere, Jayme Knox’s honest portrayal of Sheryl, a victim who continues to blame herself for the events as they unfolded, digs itself into a very real place. She is the lynchpin-twist of the TVM, but it may have served the filmmakers better if they made the movie about her side of the events.


Shadow Mountain, which originally aired on May 25th, 1999, should have been a great movie. Dan Levine’s tepid screenplay attempts to create a mystery that provides twists and turns at every commercial break, while playing on a postmodern slant of memory as inherently fragmentary and slanted, skewed to the point of making fantasies into “facts.” The nerdy side of me was totally in this film’s court, hoping we’d see some kind of examination on how the reinterpretation of memory works as a survival instinct, but maybe that’s just too big for the little-TVM-that-almost-could. And again, I may have been #TeamShadowMountain if the performances were just a little stronger. I have only recently discovered Knot’s Landing, and Lee’s portrayal of Karen Fairgate is in so many ways, larger than life. Intense, but loving. Loud but thoughtful. Even when Karen gets on a high horse, I’m always willing to hear her out. Just that one part makes Michelle the perfect choice to play a character like Barbara. Not so much here. Barbara is simply not interesting, nor is Michelle’s lifeless portrayal, and neither character nor leading lady can carry the film.


USA World Premiere Movie– you’ve disappointed me, but I refuse to break up with you. I know you have more gifts to offer (and I love gifts)!

Note: I really hated writing this review, but I guess they can’t all be winners, right?

Encounter with Danger (2009)

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Network: Lifetime Movie Network
Original Air Date: February 28th, 2009


I have to lay all my cards on the table – I’m a major Shannen Doherty fan. I have loved her for as long as I can remember: through the tumultuous 90210 Brenda years to her Spelling redemption on Charmed through all of her television movies to her appearance on Dancing with the Stars (she was jipped hardcore, btw). In fact, I’ve been enjoying some major Shannen Doherty face time at la casa Amanda By Night, with a rewatch of View of Terror and a screening of her thriller Encounter with Danger. Essentially a riff on Polanski’s Frantic mixed with a large scale retelling of Dying Room Only and just a touch of The Net, Encounter manages to stay pretty fluffy, but watchable.


Shannen is Lori Parker. She’s head over heels in love with her hunky fiancé Jack (played by resident Lifetime stud Mark Humphrey) and he whisks her away to a business meeting in the Pacific Northwest. He’s a complete workaholic, but promises to spend most of the weekend with her, so when he disappears shortly after his first meeting, Lori is filled with panic. It doesn't help that that no one has a record of Jack… not even his job! Of course she takes matters into her own hands and uncovers tons of covert activities at Jack’s place of business, which puts her own life is in mortal danger. It’s up to Lori’s spunky secret agent skills to save Jack, and maybe even herself.


The biggest problem with Encounter is that it’s obvious there wasn’t enough script to fill the entire running time. There are a lot of shots of Shannen driving… and driving… and driving. The premise is decent but, like so many movies that came before it (Flight Plan and The Forgotten instantly came to mind), the way it plays out is a bit of a disappointment.


But let’s go back to Dying Room Only. One of that film’s major strong suits is that it allows the distraught female (Cloris Leachman) to truly go crazy over her frustration. I wanted to see Shannen let loose on the bad guys! Encounter keeps Lori too cool, too restrained and it’s hard to find sympathy for her since we’re just watching her go from point A to point B. Like I’m telling you something you don’t know. In the end Encounter is strictly by the book and doesn’t veer into anything unconventional for this type of thriller. However, it's still a decent timewaster, with good acting on all fronts, beautiful locations and a hunky Mark Humphrey. It’s definitely a rainy day kind of movie, which is exactly what Lifetime was designed for.

Encounter With Danger Trailer:


Ironside: Raise the Devil (1974)

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Network: NBC
Original Air Dates: September 12th and 19th, 1974


Following on the coattails of the occult and possession films of the early 1970s, the popular series Ironside mixed their somewhat formulaic procedural drama with pagan witches, exorcisms (well, kinda) and of course, murder. Raise the Devil is a two part episode that features a top notch cast in an eerie and fairly effective wanna-be supernatural story that might have made for a better fit with the scary small screen offerings of the October/Halloween season.


After Lydia Todd (Ruby from General Hospital!) is brutally murdered in her cellar, her gentle young daughter Susan (Sian Barbara Allen) starts giving off some seriously suspicious vibes, refusing to even look at the police, much less Ironside and his band of trusty co-workers. But it’s not like there’s a shortage of suspects. An unseen but recently fired gardener, Susan’s boyfriend Jeff (Michael Anderson Jr.), Lydia’s drunkard husband (Dane Clark) and an overly serious psychiatrist, Dr. Gallin (Bill Bixby looking pretty hot in glasses) fill the roster of maybe-murderers. All of this mystery proves to be too much for Susan and she quickly winds up on the ledge of her mother’s palatial estate, threatening suicide. Ironside doesn’t believe she’s the killer and, while searching for answers he seeks help from a parapsychologist named Justine Cross (Carolyn Jones looking rather fetching with her intense bangs and to-die-for cheekbones). Justine throws another monkey wrench into the fire by suggesting that the spirit of Susan's dead brother may have possessed his sibling. Yikes!


Raise the Devil is half amazing, and half missed potential. Ironside, which was in its eighth and final season, is crisp and gorgeous. The plush modern 70s interiors are simply exquisite. If this episode had just been shots of the set decorations, I still would have been pleased. And, like earlier episodes, the lead cast is thoroughly engaging, even if we only get work-speak and crime busting.


Unfortunately, the story of a maybe-possessed young woman is mostly unfulfilled, bowing down to a safe formula and a few head shaking moments. This is par for the course for 70s TV, so it’s only a mild complaint. I remember the Charlie’s Angels episode The Séance was marginally similar, if a lot more jiggly, and the Kojak episode I Want to Report a Dream also features a psychic connection to a murderer. Personally, I love small screen supernatural mumbo jumbo, but for whatever reason, this one didn’t completely satisfy. It does have Ironside leading a pseudo-exorcism (!), so, it’s not like all is lost (OK, it was more like deprogramming, but work with me). Also, Ironside courts the lovely Justine, and I’ll be honest, I was digging it!


Sian Barbara Allen stepped away from acting in 1990, and has recently surfaced as an author. Sian was always a lovely presence on film, and I found myself hoping that she’d get together with Ed Brown (the gorgeous Don Galloway), but perhaps that was just too much of a fan-fiction-fantasy moment.

Happy Horror at 37,000 Feet Day! Here are Ten of my Favorite OMG TV Movie Moments! (MAJOR SPOILERS)

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Yes, the day has finally arrived! You can pick up your copy of Horror at 37,000 Feet on DVD here! And, since I dubbed the whole event an official Made for TV Mayhem Holiday, I thought I’d celebrate with some of my favorite OMG TV Movie Moments!

Horror is one of the first scary movies I was able to watch, and through the years, after a lot of these wonderful TV movies stopped re-airing, I never forgot Horror's freaky deaky ending. It wasn’t just jaw dropping in its unexpectedness, it…. Well, I don’t want to ruin the end, but it made me think about the impact, if you will, of that landing!

TV movies are cool that way.

They might not be able to get all gory and sexy, but they often pushed the envelope while playing within the rules. As a kid who didn’t have access to the big screen scares, I found my love of genre films in my very own living room, and Horror was one of the first to indoctrinate me into the wonderful world of the unknown. I salute you, Mr. 37,000 Feet!

Here's  my list (Reader Beware: there are definitely a few spoilers):


 How Awful about Allan (ABC, 9/22/1970) - Blind Guy Drives a Car:

Why is a blind guy driving? I dunno, but he sucks at it.


A Taste of Evil (ABC, 10/12/1971)
Home for the Holidays (ABC, 11/28/1972)
No Place to Hide (CBS, 3/4/1981)
The Ending(s):

Three different films with one director and one distinct ending. If you’ve seen any of these, you know how the others play out. But don’t be fooled, despite the signature #MoxeyTwist, all three films are excellent and stand on their own two creepy feet! Of the three, I have probably watched No Place to Hide the most, but that might come from my girl crush for the adorable Kathleen Beller. Two of the films (Taste and Hide) were written by the great Jimmy Sangster, while Joseph Stefano (yes, the screenwriter of Psycho) lends his impressive skills to Holidays. If you want to see how director John Llewellyn Moxey uses other similar elements in Taste and the ultra-awesome The Strange and Deadly Occurrence, you can read my comparison/contrast review here.



Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (ABC, 10/10/73) - The Ending: 
There are plenty of hair raising moments in Dark, but it’s the gut-punch of a downbeat ending that made this movie one of the most traumatic of my childhood. Poor Sally. (Check out my week long tribute to Darkhere)


Legend of Lizzie Borden - The Murders (ABC, 2/10/1975):

Lizzie Borden took an axe 
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one. 

Need I say more?


Trilogy of Terror (ABC, 3/4/1975) - The Ending:

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I remember one bright and lovely Saturday afternoon when I came in the house for lunch. My parents’ eyes were transfixed on the television screen. From the doorway, I could only see their expressions and had no idea what they were watching. I slowly walked over to our living room table and turned towards the television. What I saw was beyond words. All I knew was that some tiny little creature was chasing a woman around her apartment. Instant fear! I was not prepared for the ending, which featured a very primitive looking Karen Black exposing a grotesque maw full of sharp, rotting teeth. Egads. The stuff of nightmares.


 Night Terror (NBC, 2/7/1977) - Cop Shot By Creepy Man in Front of Helpless Housewife:

Taking a long road trip, Valerie Harper runs into all kinds of freaky trouble when she accidentally witnesses Richard Romanus killing a police officer. This triggers (no pun intended) a taut chase across the desolate desert. A bone chilling start to a great TVM!


A Vacation in Hell (ABC, 5/21/1979) - Love Interest Goes Down The Tubes, err, A Waterfall:  

A Vacation in Hell is one whacky movie. I love it for so many reasons, one being that it throws you for a loop every so often. If it isn’t Maureen McCormick dancing provocatively for a Vaseline smeared camera lens, then it’s a twist or turn you weren’t expecting. Losing hopeless but adorable Michael Brandon part way through the film was a shocker! And I love the film for going there (and there and there too. Seriously, this film is insane).


The Possessed (NBC, 5/1/1977) - Diana Scarwid is Flammable:

Underneath the ivy and school girl uniforms, The Possessed is really all about sexual repression. So, it doesn’t seem all that strange that a young student finds herself engulfed in the fires of suppressed passion (literally). It’s all the more sexual and telling that only a young Harrison Ford can extinguish her flames!


Amityville: The Evil Escapes (NBC, 5/12/1989) - Garbage-Disposal-Fu:

OK, OK, OK. Amityville: The Evil Escapes isn’t exactly the scariest movie ever made. In fact, most of the time it is pretty darn silly. But if you will allow me to go back to 1989, when I was a teenager and this was a new horror movie. I’m sure you can image that my excitement clouded any and all problems with the film. And if nothing else, Amityville keeps with the theme of 80s excessiveness in its gleeful over the top moments. Case in point, when the high school jock comes to help the family with their garbage disposal problem, he learns the hard way that good guys don't win. I did not see Amityville again until 2013, and was not surprised that I remembered every single moment of this scene. It still makes me shriek! I hope this kid has another career goal, because I think the football team is just about to drop him!

High Desert Kill (USA, 5/1/1989) - This: 
 

My list went well over ten, and I'm sure I'd be happy to swap some titles with others on any given day. Honorable mentions go to:
 
The Norliss Tapes (NBC, 2/21/1973): Frankenstein/Hulk creature rips off a car door!
Scream, Pretty Peggy (ABC, 11/24/1973): The killer's reveal!
Satan's Triangle (ABC, 1/14/1975): The ending! 
Dead of Night (NBC, 3/29/1977): Bobby!
This House Possessed (ABC, 2/6/1981): Blood shower, anyone?
Don't Go to Sleep (ABC,12/10/1982): The ending!
Nightmare at Bitter Creek (CBS, 5/24/1988): Joanna Cassidy gets her vengeful groove-on! 
... and so many more!

What are some of your favorite small screen OMG moments?


The USA World Premiere Movie Project: Our Mother's Murder (1997)

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This review was written in conjunction with The Daily Grindhouse's year-long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie.

It wasn’t planned, I swear. When I was choosing what USA movies I’d like to review this month, Murder on Shadow Mountain and Our Mother’s Murder simply looked like good choices (I must be drawn to the word "murder" and I’m not quite sure what that says about me!). If you read my review of Shadow you know it ended up being a bit of a disappointment. Luckily, I was already familiar with Our Mother’s Murder, which is one of the few TV movies I loved so much that I stood next to the VCR while copying it, so I could cut out the commercials. Dedication, people. Dedication. It’s not an easy movie to watch, because of the harrowing content and because it’s so damn heart wrenching. And, frankly, it’s perfect.


Like Shadow, Our Mother’s Murder (aka Daughters) is also based on a true story. Unlike Shadow, it’s utterly fantastic (OK, I’ll stop beating up Shadow now). This TVM tells the tragic tale of of Anne Scripps, a beautiful heiress who was brutally murdered by the hands of her abusive husband. The story is told through her daughter Alex (Holly Marie Combs in an excellent performance), who is desperate but powerless to keep her mother safe.


The film, which originally aired on July 16th, 1997, charts the whirlwind romance of Anne (Roxanne Hart, also excellent in the role) and her much younger lover, Scott Douglas (James Wilder, again, amazing performance). The couple was married ten months after they met, and afterwards, Scott begins to reveal a far darker side. It quickly escalates to physical abuse and even attempted murder, but is, as so often is the case, only looked at as a domestic disturbance. Anne, who was brought up in a very conservative lifestyle and is already embarrassed by her first divorce, and has a child with Scott (and because she's terrified), finds herself very reluctant to divorce him. At one point, she even agrees to a temporary reconciliation in the hopes that he won’t run off with their little girl. Scott goes from remorseful to violent in much the same way car chases in action films go from zero to sixty. His moods are sometimes unexpected and always terrifying. Anne’s grown up daughters, Alex and her sister Annie (Sarah Chalke… again… fantastic) watch helplessly as the danger escalates. The film’s title gives the ending away, so for much of the film it is simply an excruciating waiting game as we watch this disgusting man build up to murder.


Told without a hint of sensationalism, Our Mother’s Murder is almost too good. The film elegantly captures the idyllic life of two beautiful young teenagers with privileged backgrounds. Their innocent romances with boys and their strong bond with their mother belies the horrors that are about to happen. Our Mother’s Murder is about how abuse affects everyone, and each girl responds differently. Alex becomes a protective adult figure for her own naïve mother, and Annie finds herself drinking too much and getting involved with her own set of abusive boyfriends. They are relatable and their plight is moving.


Wilder’s performance is grotesque, horrifying and pathetic. In short, perfectly played. Scott is hateful but complex, and he’s not just a cardboard cutout bad guy. Wilder takes Scott to several different levels, and yet, we’ll never understand why he is the way he is. Anne is unfortunately the perfect victim because she is too ashamed to walk away. In one telling scene, Scott practically drags Anne out of a party and to their car. And while one couple follows them, they do nothing to stop what is an obviously dangerous situation. Anne's friend says, “She waved me off. She is probably embarrassed.” Just a few moments later, Scott tries to push her out of a moving car.


Truth be told, I can barely watch the entire film, I find it so real and heartbreaking. At the same time this is a film I feel everyone should see. It's not just a TV movie I love, it's an important story that is beautifully played and all to relevant. And unfortunately, the story doesn't end here. If you want to know more about Anne and what  happened to the her children, start with the wikipedia page. Utterly tragic.

Now that I'm depressed, let's change gears. I can hardly believe that Bill L. Norton, who also helmed Gargoyles, directed Our Mothers Murder. Not because I don’t totally adore both films, because I do, but wow. That’s versatility! And trust me, after this tragic film, Gargoyles makes a nice pick-me-up companion. Hey, it's how I roll...

Big Stars on the Small Screen Blogathon: Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)

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This review was written in conjunction with How Sweet It Was' tribute to the Big Stars on the Small Screen!  Let's roll... 


Network: ABC
Original Air Date: November 9th, 1971


Last year, when I wrote about The Screaming Woman,  I mentioned Walter Pidgeon’s observations on the older actor in Hollywood during the golden age of the TV movie (that’s the 1970s for you whippersnappers). According to Pidgeon, actors of a certain age found great difficulties finding good parts in the movies. Television beckoned these theatrical stalwarts and many found a new home on the small screen. Unfortunately, some of these actors were unhappy with the content they were saddled with. Granted, The Screaming Woman isn’t the greatest film ever made, but it’s good and the classic stars are wonderful in their parts, de Havilland in particular. For actors then (and now) it boils down to finding those special moments with which to shine. The actresses in Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate practically fell into a goldmine because the smart script affords them so many wonderful opportunities to strut their stuff.


Based on the novel by Doris Miles Disney, Spindle is the tale of four older women who spend their days drinking, gossiping and sometimes, just to keep things exciting, they pull an outlandish prank or two. This time, the ladies are creating the perfect young woman (a tall, willowy blonde they've named Rebecca Mead), and turning in her questionnaire to a local computer dating company. The hope is that they will receive a few amusing letters from potential suitors, which they do. Unfortunately, they also lure a psychopath who accidentally mistakes another woman for the fictional one and kills her in a fit of sexually frustrated rage.

Whoopsie.


Shot in 12 days (!), this brisk ABC Movie of the Week is absolutely charming, thanks to the four female leads: Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick, Myrna Loy and Sylvia Sidney. All four women were best known as theatrical actresses before they embraced the small screen, finding a new audience in kids like me who loved seeing them in episodic fare and made for TV movies. The women gel together beautifully in a TVM I always considered a precursor to The Golden Girls. Well, if they had less sex and drank a whole lot more (Blanche the lush would have been tremendous fun)!


In an interview to promote the movie, Loy spoke about how much fun the actresses had making Spindle. She said, “There was a lot of laughter on set. Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney joined me in having a ball...” In a different interview, Hayes said she was dying to work with Natwick. “I’m Milly’s most ardent admirer," Hayes proclaimed. "That woman made me laugh more than anyone in the theater, anyone since Bea Lillie. Did you see Barefoot in the Park? Did you ever see anyone so funny?” The actresses affection for each other is apparent, and it’s a joy to watch.


While Hayes’ Sophie T. is the star of the show, each lovely lady in this quartet is handed a bevvy of fabulous material. The one-liners are fast and furious, and surprisingly (and in a good way), somewhat restrained. What could easily have seemed like raunchy ladies drowning in blue material is balanced by recognizing that their generation did not have the same open dialogue. There is still talk about what Rebecca Mead is willing to do on a first date, but all of the TVM's jokes are handed down with an air of dignity. Well as dignified as you can be sipping one too many Old-Fashioneds!


I haven’t read the source material by Miles Disney, but John D.F. Black’s adaption is clever, and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny. Some of the best bits of comedy come courtesy of the beleaguered Detective Hallum, played by John Beradino (aka Dr. Steve Hardy on General Hospital!). He has absolutely no idea what to do with these ladies, and they often leave him dumbfounded. Vince Edwards is downright menacing in his portrayal of the psychotically lovelorn Malcolm Watson. Most of what we know about him is delivered through an inner monologue that follows him along his travels. His “little voice” gets crazier as the film progresses, but as off the charts as he gets, he is still not prepared for these four ladies!


Economically directed by the fabulous (and apparently ornery) Ted Post, Spindle landed in the top 20 for the week. Hayes was nominated for an Emmy for her rambunctious portrayal of Sophie T. (Glenda Jackson won that year for her role in the PBS production of the mini-series Elizabeth R.). And, the film is sometimes credited for inspiring the short-lived series The Snoop Sisters, which reunited Hayes and Natwick as eccentric mystery-writing-sisters who find themselves solving real crimes (Hayes said that although The Snoop Sisters was produced after Spindle, they received scripts for that series first). It’s like Murder, She Wrote x 2 and with fur coats. Win.



Small Screen Goodness!

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Although I've been watching a heap of TV movies, I haven't had the chance to sit down and write about any of them... Job hunting is a bitch! However, I have been keeping my TV radar (or perhaps it's antenna) on the scene and have a couple of neat things to share:


As many of you know, I do a live-tweet every Friday night with Me-TV's Made for TV Movie programming. Their schedule has been pretty boss, but it's going to get insanely cool this weekend when they air the pilot to the short-lived 1971 TV series Longstreet! If you are on East Coast time and have access to Me-TV, please join me on Twitter this April 4th, at 8 PM EST and let's spread the blind-insurance-investigator love! #Longstreet 4ever!

Oh yeah, and cuz I'm silly about TV movies, I am always looking for ways to make art out of small screen awesome. Here is something I did with a Longstreet still:


 I also did this to a Paper Dolls TV Guide ad:


And I made this out of a still from Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate:


And sometimes you just have to be The Best Little Girl in the World:


Also, again you may or may not know that I am a current member of the Movies About Girls podcast. One of the things I do for the podcast ... aside from not saying much but laughing a whole lot... is recording a segment called The Made for TV Mayhem Minute. It's 3 or 4 minutes of as much TV history or news I can squeeze into whatever topic I choose. I try to theme the segments with the movie we are watching, but in general it's a whole lot of random. I have done a lot of these segments and I'm in the process of uploading the transcripts onto the MAGpedia page. I've posted five so far and you can find them here. Also, in the next few weeks, I'll be updating the links on my sidebar so you can check out the entire show. It's lots and lots and lots of fun!

Podcasting Old School
The internet is both eternal and transitory, and I'm sad to say that many of the sites I used to write for have gone into the ether bye-bye. I have written a lot about TV movies as well as many other genres of film and instead of just letting my reviews/articles/interviews go, I will be repurposing my material both here and on a new blog, which I'm currently creating. I have to admit, my writing was (and sometimes still is) a bit clunky, but it's good to see where you were and where you are. I'm all self-reflective that way.

And finally, I'm working a great TV movie project that I'll be sharing info on shortly. Super excited about it!

The USA World Premiere Movie Project: Ultimate Deception (1999)

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 This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie. 

Note: Who knew that a post about a USA Original flick would have a history, but this review was first written for my now defunct Lifetime Kills column, which originally appeared on Planet Fury (I miss you PF). I haven't really changed anything, so you will see some love for LMN throughout. Just a few weeks ago, I mentioned how Lifetime totally made the rep of some of the USA movies through their wise acquisitions, and here we are again! This is pure USA Original baby! Enjoy!  


One of my favorite things about the Lifetime Movie Network (and trust me, I love a lot of things about that channel!) is their True Movie Thursdays. Every week they show two movies based on real life events. They can be about anything although most of the films revolve around murder. I've always been fascinated by how filmmakers take these stories and condense them into two hour movies. Ultimate Deception, which originally aired on the USA Network on January 19th, 1999, is an almost a perfect example of how to do it right.
 
I've never been a huge Richard Grieco fan, but at the same time, I'll pretty much watch anything he's in. I'm not sure why. I think it's because he's kind of terrifies me in the same way Mickey Roarke does - oddly angled features with sinister eyes. Back in his Booker days, he was the be-all-end-all, but I was always slightly creeped out by him. In a film like this, that sleaze quality strongly factors in. And he works it! Grieco is Bobby Woodkin, a low rent con artist who pretends that he works for an ultra secret section of the military. Complete with his pristine white uniform, he appears in and out of Terry Cuff's (Yasmine Bleeth) life. Desperate to please her, he pulls so many capers it would make your head spin like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Unfortunately, Terry doesn't want anything except a baby. Bobby (who'd gotten a vasectomy years before and not bothered to tell Terry) suggests adoption and tries unsuccessfully to steal a baby. Shortly afterwards, he returns to his hometown to find that his good friend just became a young grandfather.

You see where this is going…


With a plan in action, Bobby takes the new mother out under the guise he's going to buy her and her baby a present and he kills her and absconds with her child. Terry is so overjoyed with having a new infant that she overlooks a lot of little things that Bobby is doing, like when she finds out he's only renting the house he said he bought for her (and he's not even paying the rent anymore!). Eventually Terry wises up and begins to uncover the dark secret of her baby.

Everything up until this point works so well. The story is laid out meticulously for the audience, who will have an uncomfortable time dealing with the facts of the murder. Yasmine Bleeth is great as Terry and although you see her broadly looking past some specific indicators that Bobby has done something horrible, she plays her strong enough that you believe it. And like I said, Grieco is great as her creepy husband who shows little remorse for killing a young mother. This well crafted thriller plugs along splendidly (I even got a little misty eyed) and then in the last 10 minutes, Deception breaks down what it has taken the rest of the film to build up. Terry goes back to her house for "revenge" and the showdown scene borders on hilarious. I don't understand why the filmmaker shifted gears from heartbreaking thriller to "mom on a rampage." But wonders never cease, do they? Luckily, there’s enough good thriller in Ultimate Deception to make it worthwhile.

Fantastic TV Book Project Needs YOU!

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It is somewhat sad to realize that shows like CBS Schoolbreak and the ABC Afterschool Special - programs that seemed so mainstream with regards to their availability to a mass audience - have become items of cult interest, or simply dusty memories from our childhood. The kid-centric programming of yesteryear embraced the awkwardness, sadness, and sometimes triumph of growing up in a world that was constantly changing. Kier-la Janisse, author of the critically acclaimed House of Psychotic Women is hoping to bring back some of those memories in her new book Kid Power.


The book, the first in Janisse's new micro-press venture Spectacular Optical, will be filled with color images, essays and interviews, as she, and several other authors look back at how these programs shaped our lives. She will be launching the book in July at the prestigious Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal, Canada. Janisse put together a crowdfunding campaign to help her get the book out (btw, her intro video contains some truly amazing clips). Essentially, a $15 (CAD) donation gets you a copy of the book, so it's simply a pre-order. But there are other perks based on your donation amounts, and you should go and check it all out. And please visit Spectacular Optical's website and like their facebook page, and spread the word!

What I'm Watching Now: Emergency!

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Sometimes life makes it difficult to commit yourself to even just one film. When I was in the midst of school, even taking 74 minutes out for a Movie of the Week was a daunting task. However, being the bull headed retro TV lover I am, I scaled back and made a compromise. I decided to just fall into the arms of episodic television. Even though these shows ran longer than the modern fare, they were still only 50 minutes apiece. Yet, I continued to struggle. (Look world, I needed a brain break, but I wanted to dive into the retro hues of 70s small screen offerings, can you help a girl out?) And, it was here in the throes of desired escapism that I discovered Emergency!

The first scene from the first episode of Emergency!
It was the perfect match for me. Although a single story tends to string an episode together (usually via funny moments at Station 51), the paramedics often jumped from one isolated rescue to the next. This meant that I could easily watch 20 minutes, get the meat of the story, and then drift off to academic dreamland (you know, where your dream has mathematics symbols floating amongst terminology like “hegemony” and “patriarchy”). All I had to remember from each episode is that Dr. Brackett is one dreamy cat and Dix ain’t taking your flack. It was easy-peasy!

Pitter-patter goes my heart...
After a few shots of the series, I became a full fledged junkie, staying up just a little later every night so I could venture farther and farther into the episodes. Before I knew it, I was wishing I’d gone to school to be a paramedic because I was so intrigued by the number of well organized boxes Johnny and Roy kept on their truck. I was also intrigued by Johnny and Roy who were adorable and heroic to boot! It was meant to be!

Adorbs.
I am ashamed to admit that I was woefully ignorant when it came to this series. I'm not sure why, but despite my love of small screen car accidents, general chaos and things that go boom, Emergency was not registered on my radar. But I've seriously made up for it in the last few months and have seen almost every episode (granted some were only in pieces, but I'm getting there). Recently, Me-TV aired the Emergency finale TVM, and I dug up a bit of trivia for a live tweet. I don’t want to force anyone to scroll through my feed, so here are the highlights of what I learned about the series:

Robert Fuller, who played Dr. Kelly Brackett said no one thought the series would be successful. In an interview he revealed, “Everyone expected us to fold after the first thirteen weeks. But we surprised ‘em!”

Brackett and Dix were an item in the pilot TVM. I think she feels the same about him as I do!
Did they ever! The show ran for seven seasons, and it never veered from its original formula. The chemistry between Johnny Gage (Randolph Mantooth) and Roy DeSoto (Kevin Tighe) was practically intoxicating and came from a very real place. The two actors remain the best of friends and Tighe was even best man at Mantooth’s wedding in the early 2000s. Do I hear, “Awwww?” I’m sure I do.

Emergency-cam!
Emergency co-creator Robert A. Cinader got the idea for a series when he was working on another project and interviewing firemen who seemed to have a lot of medical knowledge. Although we take it for granted now, the job of being a paramedic was a very new vocation in the early 1970s. With Jack Webb behind the production, the series took on that Webb-flair (if you will) of bare-bones procedural fare, and sometimes felt downright life-like. Cinéma vérité - Webb style!

God-cam!
When Emergency first aired on NBC on January 15th, 1972, there were only six paramedic units in the United States. The filmmakers were extremely serious about their programming and filmed in co-operation with the LA Fire Department. Many stories featured throughout the run of the series were based on actual events. This somewhat realistic approach is considered a catalyst for many who would become paramedics.

Zoinks-cam!
The filmmakers also hired Jim Page, an LA County Battalion Chief as their technical editor for the show. Mike Stoker (who played Mike Stoker!) was a real life fireman and a long-standing actor on the series.

The Stoker, yo!
Mike Norell, who played Captain Hank Stanley, is an accomplished TV movie writer. He penned several teleplays, including one of my faves, Three on a Date. Oh my gawd, it's love.

He might be putting out that fire, but he's ignited a different one in my heart!
Gorgeous singer Julie London was the ex-Mrs. Webb, and obviously remained on good terms with him because he invited her and her current hubby, the affable bandleader Bobby Troup to round out the cast. In an interview, London, who travelled a lot, said she embraced the chance to work on a series, stating, “I have three children at home and wanted to be with them instead of being a long distance mother from some hotel in a distant city.” She later commented that Troup, who played Dr. Joe Early (the slowest doctor ever) came to work with her even on days he wasn’t scheduled for filming. More awwws.

He might move a little slow, but Dr. Early rules. It's true.
Exteriors of the firehouse were provided by LA County Fire Department Station 127 in Carson, CA. The station house has since been renamed the Robert A. Cinader Memorial Fire Station. Rampart General was Harbor General Hospital, which is now known as the Harbor UCLA Medical Center in Torrace, CA.

For all your hospital action needs, please visit Rampart General.
As you may have guessed, the series has left a long and wonderful legacy. In 1972 a California Senator named Alan Cranston wrote a letter to Jack Webb stating, “Emergency has dramatized the potential of the paramedic.”

Paging the Gage Brigade... Paging the Gage Brigade...
Did you know that May 15th is Emergency Fest Day in Maryland? Well, it is.

Mantooth has a fan club who call themselves the Gage Brigade!

Malloy and Reed visit Dix at Rampart General.
Although Webb is most famous for his economical productions and deadpan delivery, he had a meta-moment on Emergency:

In the first episode titled The Wedsworth-Townsend Act, Officers Jim Reed (Kent McCord) and Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) from Adam-12 appear as a way to bridge the shows and perhaps attract curious Adam-12 fans. In this episode, the actors are clearly performing as their characters from the beloved series. And in an Adam-12 episode titled Lost and Found the Emergency crew repays the favor by appearing in an episode about a suicide hotline. However, in-between those two episodes, in the Emergency episode Hang Up, Johnny laments having to leave the station house right in the middle of an airing of Adam-12 for a rescue. It’s simply post-modern!

The guys of Station 47.
Also, Emergency’s legacy spread far and wide and into other non-Webb related shows:

The other day I watched a Quincy episode titled Cover Up, which originally aired on February 7th, 1980. In this episode, paramedics from Station 47 are called out to a bowling alley for a potential heart attack. They make their call to Rampart Emergency, but are told the patient seems OK so he can go to a smaller emergency room that is closer. Of course, with Quincy being a coroner and all, you can probably guess that this doesn’t end so well for the patient. Rampart would have been the obvious better choice!

All of that, just to say Emergency is streaming on Netflix and airing weekdays on Me-TV. It’s well worth checking out or rediscovering.

Luv.

USA World Premiere Movie Project: Writer's Block (1991)

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This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie.

Looking back at the original reviews for this 1991 USA thriller, I am amazed at how journalists felt that creating a serial killer character that everyone adores is patently bad writing. I guess someone should tell Dexter that no one likes him (or rather liked, as I hear the series ended with a lot of issues). I am also somewhat surprised by the general lack of good humor that should accompany any review about a movie where the protagonist is named Magenta Hart. C'mon people!

DOS in action
I should probably say this general antagonism is targeted at one writer who worked for the Associated Press. His negative review ended up in a gazillion papers and probably turned a few heads away from this admittedly flawed but interesting thriller. Morgan Fairchild is Magenta, a put upon novelist whose most popular creation is a series of novels that feature a nameless serial killer that is referred to as The Red Ribbon Killer. Magneta is a bitter divorcee who uses her pen to strike down her ex’s current fiancé, another blonde who the Red Ribbon Killer fixates on, killing her over and over again in this series of books. As cathartic as this would seem for Magenta, it has also unfortunately triggered a real life murderer who is now duplicating the crimes, and moving closer and closer towards our favorite button-nosed author.

Magenta writes: She was obviously drunk
Writer’s Block smacks of 1991. It’s dreamy, not completely coherent and offers up a female protagonist whose sexual repression sparks a series of calamitous events. If anyone can’t see the metaphors that are flying around the set, they must have truly hated television the 1990s. For instance, the author's name, Magenta Hart, is meant to symbolize the purple heart, or rather, the wounds of love! I mean... you all got that, right? Get with it Associated Press! (OK, I’ll stop here)

Magenta thinks: I wish I was obviously drunk
I normally associate Fairchild with her bitch-tastic performances from The Initiation of Sarah, Paper Dolls and her narcissistic turn as Mindy’s unwanted BFF Susan on Mork and Mindy. She is perhaps a little too good at playing bad, and I tend to forget she also played nicer and sometimes weaker characters (I’m looking at you, Seduction). Despite Magenta’s Jackie-Collins-heroine-like moniker, this character embodies nothing of those similarly named protagonists who are never shy of witty retorts, or lovers for that matter. Beautiful but beleaguered, Fairchild is good in the role of the pretty girl who has a hard time keeping the guy. She is assisted by the forever likeable Joe Regalbuto, who at the time was making a name for himself as Frank Fontaine on Murphy Brown (non-sequitur: I miss Jim Dial). She also has a mysterious lover named Andrew (Michael Praed from Dynasty) who is every inch the romantic hero Magneta needs… or is he? Suspense, people. Suspense.

Whoopsie!
While I enjoyed Writer’s Block, I will admit that the last 15 minutes got strange, even for me! And while I was fine with the surreal atmosphere, the rest of the film’s more realistic tone (well, realistic by early 90s sex thriller standards) offsets the twist. It’s a minor quibble though. I thought the moody lighting, noir-ish pacing and Fairchild’s perfect blonde hair were enough to keep me engaged. If I could go back in time and write a letter to the editor... OK, now I'm really going to let it go!

Spoiler-y VHS box art: 



Battles: The Murder That Wouldn't Die (1980)

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Network: NBC
Original Air Date: March 9th, 1980

What the wut?

Those were the words swimming through my head as I watched the pilot TVM Battles: The Murder That Wouldn’t Die. After an energetic opening credits montage, Battles settles into a convoluted mystery surrounding an almost 40 year old rape case that left one of the accused dead and a lot of unanswered questions. William Battles (William Conrad, looking positively slender in comparison to his Cannon years) is an ex-Los Angeles detective who has moved to Hawaii to help out his ailing brother Allan (Edward Binns). Battles has taken a post as head of security at Hawaii State University and gets in some overtime as one of the university’s football team coaches (!). Unfortunately, he’s in town for a whole day before his brother is killed in a suspicious car accident. It would seem Allan reopened the 1940s rape case and got just a tad too close to the culprit. Now it’s up to brother Battles to follow in his sibling’s footsteps and solve the crime.


What’s most surprising about this synopsis is that I was able to write it out coherently. Battles is one slapdash, choppy little movie with some misplaced energy and a whole lot of confusion. The cast is great, the locations are gorgeous, and there is definitely a gold nugget of a story somewhere inside this 90-minute mess, but none of it comes together in any real way. Apparently, NBC felt something similar because although six more episodes of Battles were written, they never got the green light.


While Conrad is the star, a rag-tag group associated with the university supports him. There is Allan’s daughter Shelby (Robin Mattson), who just knows her dad was murdered (although she cheers up a little too quickly after the fact), and there’s her feathery headed boyfriend Deacon (Lane Caudell), whose creepy aggression disappears by his second scene, and there’s Tuli (Tommy Aguilar), an island native and a con man (and totally adorable), and finally there is Dean Mary Phillips (Marj Dusay), a woman with a murky but intriguing past relationship to Battles. The idea for the series was that this group would get involved with the police on seemingly unsolvable cases. However, they show a general lack of taste in their crime-fighting skills, as noted by their recreation of the events that lead to the original rape! Sheesh.


The pilot’s roster of guest stars is fantastic, if misused. Jonathan Hillerman, Jose Ferrer, Mike Kellin and the great Don Porter (aka Gidget’s dad and all around cool actor) make the most of the material, but are only offered one or two moments to look suspicious, and aren’t given a whole heck of a lot else to do otherwise. Produced and co-written by the legendary Glen A. Larson, Battles appeared in the midst of a storm of Larson productions, including another unsold pilot titled Nightside with Doug McClure. But around those two misfires, Larson was also working behind the scenes on The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, B.J. and the Bear and the critically derided Galactica 1980 (btw, I kind of liked 1980… screw it!). Also, Larson was the co-creator of Magnum P.I., which also debuted in 1980. Busy man. Perhaps in all this chaos, no one was paying proper attention to Battles, because what is lost is mostly in the details, and a sharper eye may have been able to fix some of the problems.


One a positive note (and maybe it’s the Library-Science-graduate-student-to-be in me), I thought the plotline that followed the destruction of archival materials was pretty dang fascinating. Battles used old newspapers to track the original crime (and actually solve it), but found that most of the documentation had either been destroyed in an earlier fire at the newspaper’s headquarters or were recently ruined via a torching of the microfiche records at the college (how could they?!?). To put the pieces together, Battles and crew track the information through old-fashioned footwork, the somewhat guarded spoken history as told by those at the club the night of the rape, and through locating a man so obsessed with the crime that he kept every single newspaper that covered the story. It was research done old-school style, and what can I say, I enjoyed watching the process.


The flashback footage from the 1940s was shot in black and white and clips of the Andrew Sisters performing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy were inserted into the scene (these scene were lifted from the 1941 film Buck Privates). Turns out, March of 1980 was a big month for the Andrews Sisters because they were also featured in the PBS documentary G.I. Jive, which aired on the 15th. Battles, which ran under NBC’s The Big Event, went directly up against the TV movie premiere of the remake of Amber Waves, starring Dennis Weaver and Kurt Russell. Waves got most of the press and it would seem Battles faded quietly into the background and without much fuss. Conrad came back with a short-lived Nero Wolfe series before landing on his chubby feet with the extremely popular Jake and the Fatman. So, it’s all good, even if Battles is unfortunately not so great.

USA World Premiere Movie Project: Rubdown (1993)

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This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie

According to Entertainment Weekly’s archives, Rubdown, which originally aired on September 15th, 1993, was “surprisingly absorbing, mostly due to its sassy dialogue.” However, I think EW might have been the lone supporter of this USA Original, which Variety called “superficially steamy,” featuring “somnambulistic performances [that] lack any relevance” (and that’s just one of the negative reviews I read). But just you hush, Variety and your lackeys, because EW was so ahead of your game. Rubdown is indeed an unexpected treat, with lots of fun, if predictable, twists and turns.


The gorgeous Jack Coleman is Marion Pooley (!), an ex-pro baseball player who has fallen on hard times. After a horrible accident that caused him to step down from his game, he makes ends meet as a masseur at a high fashion gym. But it doesn’t really help him with his gambling debts, which are getting worse and worse. One of his clients, Harry Orwitz (William Devane) confesses to Marion that he’s looking to get out of his marriage to a gold-digging wife, but their pre-nup only allows him a financially beneficial divorce if she files first or is caught in an affair. Harry knows Marion needs the dough, and hey, he’s easy on the eyes too, so he offers the ex-ball player $30,0000 to sleep with his gorgeous blonde wife. But wait, Marion is already sleeping with Mrs. Orwitz! Whoops! Marion and Jordy Orwitz (Catherine Oxenberg) devise a plot to foil’s Harry original plot, but it gets all re-foiled when Harry ends up dead, Jordy goes missing and all suspicion falls on Marion! But wait, there’s more! Marion runs across the real Jordana Orwitz (Michelle Phillips), and of course, more foiling (and some steaminess) ensue!


That’s an ambitious scenario, even by early 90s erotic thriller standards. Rubdown does have a few plot pitfalls, and although I could see the ending coming from across the room, I found the film to be a charming entry into the sexy genre, which all too often lacked in the charm department. It’s aided by a slick production, with gorgeous shots of the San Diego beach and other glamorous locals. But most importantly (and perhaps most unexpectedly), it is indeed the crisp noir-ish dialogue and Pooley’s strangely moving backstory that made Rubdown a film I couldn’t stop watching.


Of course, this movie is about almost-titilation simply due the more restrained nature of basic cable, and I’m sure that disappointed some viewers (aka Variety… just admit it guys). But both Oxenberg and Phillips are appropriately voluptuous and mysterious, with Oxenberg suiting the femme fatale role rather nicely in her first scenes, and Michelle picking up her cue for the second half of the film.

Here is an example of how to be a femme fatale, and how not to do it, Rubdown-style: 











But wait, there’s even more! Alan Thicke plays a maybe-bad guy attorney and his henchman is Kane Hodder, who was already famous in horror circles for playing Jason Vorhees in three Friday the 13th movies (Jason Goes to Hell was released just one month prior to Rubdown’s airing). Random trivia: Screenwriter Clyde Hays played Paul in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter! This was Hayes first produced script, and it shows a lot of promise. Director Stuart Cooper got his start in the 1970s, but really hit his stride in the early 90s, making several films for the USA Network. Thank you Stuart!

Rubdown is on VHS! Yay!


Trenchcoat in Paradise (1989)

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 Network: CBS 
Original Air Date: October 18th, 1989 

In an interview, Dirk Benedict excitedly explained one of the reasons why he loved making Trenchcoat in Paradise. He mused that it was a departure from the more ensemble-type programming he was associated with and said, “Trenchcoat is the first show in which I’ll be playing the lead.” In a different interview he expressed similar excitement about the potential of the hopeful series and his part in it. Benedict explained the potential charm: “It’s a cross between Columbo and the Rockford Files… It’s the first full-dimensional character I got to play.” (Note: Remember when I went cuckoo nutso over Benedict playing Columbo in a British stage production? Looks like he got an early start at working out his version of the great detective)


Benedict also likened the show to Magnum P.I., which was a series that CBS was using as a springboard to promote the Hawaii-set Trenchcoat. Hoping it would make a nice replacement for the much beloved and highly rated detective series, the network tested the blue waters with a pilot movie. Unfortunately, despite some wonderful moments that make Trenchcoat seem like it could be an appealing series, the TVM inevitably falls flat.


Dirk Benedict is Eddie Mazada, an 80s gumshoe lost to the world of the old 1940s sleuths who enjoy a challenging mystery, but prefer a tasty cigar. Working the streets of New Jersey, Eddie is (somewhat politely) run out of town by the local mobsters. He's is in a good place though because he’s got a few bucks and nothing to tie him down (it’s established that he’s divorced and an absentee father). So, if you’ve got to start fresh, why not do it on the sandy beaches of Hawaii? Luck seems to really be on his side, because as soon as he lands, he manages to buy a detective agency that already has a nice contact list, and a super gorgeous assistant who prefers bikinis to office attire.


And of course, since we only have 90 minutes, Eddie is instantly thrown into the high profile case revolving around the murder of a wealthy and influential land developer. While the developer’s partner, John Hollander (Bruce Dern) seems the most likely to have committed the crime, the rest of the suspects are far curvier, and seem to generate more interest from Eddie Mazda! There’s Claire (Kim Zimmer), Hollander’s lonely wife. Her five percent ownership of the company creates a swing vote between John and his recently deceased associate. And then there’s Hollander’s sister, Suzanna (Michelle Phillips), a woman who vehemently opposes any land development. And finally there is John’s sexy assistant Lisa (Catherine Oxenberg), who is working her way up the corporate ladder by taking her boardroom meetings into the bedroom (I always love writing that!).


That’s quite a lot to take in, and while Trenchcoat is a mouthful of mystery, it’s not too hard to play along with the disheveled Mazada, a man who refuses to drop his dark suits and trenchcoats on the island. Essentially, this is an update on the classic noir film, with a strong dose of fish-out-of-water antics to bring a few smiles to the game, thanks to Benedict’s indefatigable charm. Unfortunately, neither fully works.


Directed with a gorgeous eye by Martha Coolidge (Valley Girl), and written with a sometimes-charming edge by Tom Dempsey, it’s difficult to say exactly what went wrong. I loved the idea of taking the tropes of the noir, and turning them upside down by placing the protagonist in a light (and sometimes lighthearted) space of volleyball, surfing and luaus, but Trenchcoat never fully forms into anything more than a reasonable time killer.


I do love that Benedict sort of rejects his days as Face from the A-Team by playing down his good looks. This is about a down on his luck, but basically optimistic working class Joe who needed a fresh start, and in that respect, Dirk makes Mazada an easily relatable character. The other pleasant surprise was Sydney Walsh as Mona, Eddie’s smart and sexy assistant. Her side story about the missing surfboard is one of the highlights of the tele-film.


Also, it was weird, interesting and absolutely perfect timing that I just watched Rubdown, because Michelle Phillips and Catherine Oxenberg go femme fatale in that TVM as well (Of the two films, I’m more partial to Rubdown... Sorry Dirk).

The USA World Premiere Movie Project: The China Lake Murders (1990)

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This review has been posted in conjunction with the Daily Grindhouse's year long tribute to the USA World Premiere Movie.


What do you do when you’re a big city copy turned small town sheriff who uncovers a series of murders by someone who just might be another boy in blue? Worse yet, what if you become his friend? That’s the conundrum Sheriff Sam Brodie (Tom Skerritt) faces in the underrated USA original film The China Lake Murders.

Sitting machismo!
 China Lake is rocked by a series of murders where the killer’s modus operandi is to stuff the victim in the trunk of their own car, letting them die slowly from the burning desert heat! Brodie is the new guy who tries to figure out who the culprit is. Michael Parks is Officer Donnelly the vacationing cop who likes to commit crimes along the outskirts of China Lake. He’s a sociopathic liar who often fantasizes about enforcing the law in much more violent ways. When he’s not thinking he’s a god or something, you can find him in the desert practicing Tai Chi, or maybe you’ll see him at the Podunk diner romancing the lonely waitress (Lauren Tewes in a small but great role). Brodie might not be delusional, but his life is almost equal in its loneliness. He’s newly divorced and spends most of his nights in his wood paneled home drinking beer and wondering why his kid doesn’t want to see him. When Brodie and Donnelly first meet, a mutual respect comes into play, but it doesn’t take long for the sheriff to figure out Donnelly’s game. The difficult part is proving it.

The unmistakable smile!
This movie, which premiered on January 31st, 1990, is sort of a late entry into the world of made for television thrillers. By the 90s, TVMs were more centered on true crime and the always uplifting disease of the week. China Lake is not a network movie, it originally aired on USA, who was just beginning to produce original films at this time (the first original USA TVM I saw was Murder By Night with Robert Urich. I watched it on premiere night cuz I’m just that nerdy!), and they did well with this little potboiler, which was their highest rated movie at the time of its first airing.

Standing machismo... with a gun!
Honestly, it’s small screen heaven, with fantastically desolate desert locales and top notch acting. Parks’ coulda been way over the top, but as per his usual style, he knows exactly which side of the line he needs to stand on, while at the same time letting himself teeter over to the outrageous, just to keep us on our toes. And it’s a big ol’ machismo on a stick fest, with Skerritt and Parks looking gruff and leathery. Mmmmmm.


The China Lake Murders is available on VHS

Rosemary's Baby (2014)

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Network: NBC
Original Air Date: May 11th & 15th, 2014 

As a fan of Roman Polanski’s excellent adaptation of Rosemary’s Baby in 1968, I was a little put off by the news of a remake, which aired this past week on NBC. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least slightly curious as to how they were going to update/change/reimagine the classic tale of pregnancy panic and Satan worshipping. Also, the idea of making it a mini-series seemed both odd and fascinating. So, what can I say, I was in. And, while I wasn't in love with Rosemary's Baby, I did see some flickers of promise, and I also appreciated NBC's return to the classic TVM era.


The beautiful Zoe Saldana (who was also one of the producers) is achingly naïve, sometimes to the point of frustration. As Rosemary, she is sort of fish-out-water wife who follows her ambitious but somewhat unsuccessful husband/writer to France where he’s landed a nice teaching gig. They have recently lost a baby and the pain of this miscarriage has left Rosemary terrified of trying to get pregnant again. But the couple still seem very happy in their tiny apartment. They’ve also made quick friends with the prominent and wealthy Castavets, who get the couple to move into their gorgeous building after their place catches on fire. Of course the Castavets have something more devilish on their minds, and when Rosemary successfully takes the baby plunge again, it’s obvious that the Prince of Darkness has finally found a mommy.


Ratings were low for Sunday’s airing (and I imagine Thursday’s episode will not fare even as well as the first night), and critical reception was mostly indifferent. Yet, despite the disappointing viewership, I do hope that the Peacock Network keeps in line with this type of programming. NBC also produced a live version of The Sound of Music last year, and while it may not be my cup of tea, I respect that they were thinking outside of the box, and also embracing the traditional. Likewise, although I’m not particularly interested in Hollywood Game Night or Maya Rudolph’s upcoming variety show, I like that NBC is playing around with some of the older tropes of free TV programing in an attempt to find a unique niche for themselves. I’m probably more prone to keep an eye on NBC because of this, so in that respect, Rosemary’s Baby was a bit of a success.


And, I did enjoy some things about the Rosemary's Baby remake. This mini-series is slow but hyper-stylized and gorgeous. The first half is engaging, and, even at times, wondrous and suspenseful. I also loved Carole Bouquet’s subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) menacing turn as Margaux Castavet (athough admittedly, I missed the more eccentric round of character actors that filled up the original film). The second half is not quite as successful as the first and I feel the mini-series could have easily been a one-night event. And I guess that’s the key word here… Event (NBC did pimp Rosemary as an “NBC Event”), because the network harkens back those TV movies of yesteryear, making it feel like one of those programs I just had to catch. And I not only welcomed the sentiment, I loved it.

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